Thursday, October 13, 2011

Facebook Stupidity

Who are those people on the side that say I should subscribe to them? Why the word "subscribe?" It makes me feel like I'm about to buy a playboy or something.

....Oh, Facebook. You never cease to make me shake my head in disapproval.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


No, you're not fat. No, you're not ugly. Yes, you're a good friend. Sure, sigh dramatically, because I couldn't tell you were depressed. Oh, and I definitally WASN'T trying to ignore you.

Attention seekers... grumble grumble.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


For the love! STOP doing those stupid freaking friendship things! Do you really need some app to tell you who your friends are? Is society THAT far gone?! What happened to a sincere hug and a balloon on your birthday? What happened to talking for hours about nothing and laughing at everything? WHERE did our world go?! If I show up on one more of those freaking things I'm going to post who my top ten WIERDEST friends are. Guess who's going to be on there? Whoever is stupid enough to mess with me when I'm this worked up.

Actually, scratch that. I'm just going to deck them in the face.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Things We Didn't Know Then

I've been thinking. What about, you ask? About the muffin man. Yeah, yeah, the one that lives on drury lane.

WHY do adults teach us songs about the address of a grown man that hands out free treats? Next thing you know kids are going to go around chanting, "There's a man in a Windowless van, and he'll let you pet! You must be shorter than four feet and a quarter....Hey! Don't be a candy hog!"

I can never look at The Muffin Man in the same light again.

Hehe, I just made that up on the spot! That's pretty good.

Facebook Stupidity

To fully understand the direction I'm going to take with this segment of "Facebook Stupidity" you must go to the YouTube and look up "Kid Remix." If you have any sense of good American culture, it's by the same people that do Kid Histories. Thank you, now here we go.

People who take photos of themselves in their bathroom mirror then post said picture on Facebook.

Really? You're in, like, a tank top with your muffin tops hanging out over your jeggings making a seductive face into your BATHROOM mirror? No, that's not attractive! The toilet keeps drawing my attention. Why is there a pink shag carpet on it? Why are you taking a picture of yourself? Don't you have someone to take a picture for you? We can see your phone in the mirror's reflection! Why was your bathroom your first venue of choice? "Hey, did you see my bathroom? Isn't it cool? Isn't it cool how I showed it to you?"

NO! ....I'm scarred for life.

Sarcastic Complaining

Ok, we get it. We're picking up on your "subtle" sarcasm in that post. I just have one thing to say to that....

Knock it off. That's MY thing.

What's Your Pet Peeve?

Thank you, Celeste, for getting back to me.

You and I share a common pet peeve. Chronically and unneedfully depressed status updates.

Look around you! The world is full of possibility! It's ok to be a little sad now and then, but your life can't be that bad! Oh, did you stub your toe? Did your mommy take away your phone? Do you THINK the world hates you?

News flash, it'd probably because you're the most depressing person anyone knows. Two words: COWBOY UP. Stop dragging your feet. Stop looking for the bad. For goodness' sake, look for the GOOD in your life!

And, I've heard quite too much from you already so, if you're depressed, tell it to your journal. If you finally find happiness, I hope your first thought is not "I've gotta put this on Facebook!" It's just a sad narrative about the world today.

And that makes me depressed.

What's your pet peeve? Tell me and if I agree, I'll complain about it, too.